Sunday, September 23, 2012

Bye Bye Summer...for now

Its been a while, I've had the most amazing Summer and its really hard to say goodbye. I had so many wonderful experiences and most was within my city. I didn't go too far to get away. I spent a week in Coburg, my son began his ABA Autism therapy, I went to festivals and the beach. I took tonnes of pictures. So I'll share some with you enjoy!

Lake Ontario at Sunrise

Cabin in Coburg

Me sitting in the park as my son's group has a therapy session

My boys leaving ABA Therapy

My photography can be found on just look for Cammydoll

My new puppy Teddy!

Thursday, September 29, 2011



This is something only you alone God can do

Only you can fix what is broken...

For I was so broken

millions of pieces

charred and tattered remains

scraping at the surface

barely existing

...on a thread

I called and you reached down and pulled me out of the pit

The ashen lair

Sharp metal prongs swelled up the walls

with no way out

I circled, the chambers crying and confused

every apparent exit was only a deeper pit

pulling me deeper into eternal despair

my ways my actions and thoughts led me there

my was no way out...

I broke down desperate for peace and freedom

any form of relief!

Then I remembered a story from old

of love so enduring and pure, never failing

shivering, I hungered for this love, for the loving arms of my saviour wrapped around me

I knew I had to find a way back

to you

So I searched for that familiar voice those familiar words

I cried out for help

and the walls started chipping, cracks began to form

dust flew all around me

until I was able to get my hand through

before me was a tiny opening, beyond it was a light that shone on gently glowing and warm

I called out for I knew from whence my help commeth and soon felt his arm

I knew it was my heavenly father, reaching out to me

I hesitated...

What was on the other side? new choices new decisions, a new life so much unknown

I knew it had to be better than the pit I was in

My father was waiting

Fear gripped me
He whispered gently...Come my child. I have plans for you plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future...I will bring you back from captivity (Jeremiah 29 11-14)
The shackles of my mind loosened, the chains of doubt and fear fell to the ground!!
In you alone I trust oh God, your love is without measure, you want the very best for me. You mean no harm.
I leaned on the walls and they crumbled.. On the other side was my saviour smiling with arms wide open.
Welcoming me home.

The Christian......Date!!!

Yep I did it...I dated a Christian guy. was before you say...I was right don't date Christian men/women. Let me tell you what I did wrong, so that hopefully you wont suffer the same fate as I did.

First of all my disclaimer. *If this post at all reminds you of anyone you know, its not them...well maybe... but I'm not naming names not now not ever so DON'T ASK!!! (oh they don't attend my church either)

I was praying hard one night feeling so defeated and about to give up on ever finding someone. I was crying and praying and begging God to make things happen but for me to also be patient enough to hold on and trust him. Now I don't have many days like this usually I'm cool, but this particular night I was all hormonal, a tad lonely, feeling rejected and tired of men who I like being totally clueless about me *whew*....well you know what I mean I'm sure you have been there right?

So what happen,s the next day, out of the blue some guy sends me a message, wanting to get to know me, all about me, wanting to talk to me on phone and text and  take me out....and BROADCAST MESSAGE he was a CHRISTIAN!!!!!

WHAT WHAT, what's this Answered Prayer....????

.....well my friends, after an awe inspiring miracle like that....all my good sense flew out the window!!!!

Not only did he ask me out, he asked me out again and again, we went here, there, to  movies hanging out. Ive waited years for this....yep 6 whole everlasting years. Did I mention 6 years??? Oh ya

This must be from God because he's a Christian, he has to be the one because he's a Christian...I got so excited I almost stopped praying....mistake number one!

I put the poor dude on a pedestal and when he let me down, every trigger and issue Ive ever had came flooding in like a tsunami......

 I was in trouble....I had no clue what to do, how to react so Ms. Old Self crept back in. I had no idea how to shut her up, kick her out, or shake her was so irritating. I thought I had it beat!!!!

Because I took my eyes off of GOD.
I lost my focus
I only saw, my needs, my happiness, my dreams and future in front of me.

Luckily it was over before it even began but there was unnecessary hurt going both ways. :(

That's the short end of it but some things I learned.

  • Just because he's a Christian doesn't mean he's right for you!! ( I know its obvious but when your in it you just don't think)
  • Because someone comes into your life it isn't automatically answered prayer the way you would expect it to be... Pray and test it out. Get even more clser to God at this time.
  • People come into your life for different reasons (to teach you something, to show you something, to show you what you do or do not need in your life, to remind you to rely on God at ALL times!
  • Being a Christian doesn't mean the person has the right personality or character for you!
  • Do not overlook the little things and give them benefit of the doubt. If something is looking wrong or sounding is WRONG! BE WISE, people are still people our sinful nature will show up and show us who we are and who the other person is too. Keep your spiritual wits about you!!
  • If they aren't showing you good character right off the bat its not going to change, don't walk RUN.
  • BE FRIENDS for as long as humanly possible.  I know that I want to marry my best friend, someday....
Ill probably have more to add to this later but its up and posted. I hope this will help you!
Love you all! xo

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Men and Women this message is for you WOW

This is a great website that deserves your support. There are some amazing Christian videos that are free to view. Take a few minutes (about 40 min) to watch this video, its incredible!
Man School Porn and Lust vs. the Pursuit of a Wife

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Little is much when God is in it

Do you remember that song? I grew up in church, pretty much born and raised in it. Our worship services were the bomb! They lasted for what seemed for hours, but I was a kid then so who knows for sure lol? I can still remember the hymns we sang. Sometimes they just pop into my head.  Here's one we sang at church and it goes a little something like this.

Little is much when God is in it
Labour not for wealth or gain
There is a crown and you can win it
If you go in Jesus' name
Sounds a little anti-prosperity doesn't? I don't really think so when you look a little further. I think it was saying not to make an idol out of wealth, gain or success. Don't let it be your everything be kingdom minded! For the real treasure is in heaven and there are souls to be won for Christ. As children of God we are to strive for excellence! I have to confess I have been guilty of not putting my best foot forward in ALL areas of my life. What happened? I wore myself too thin , I forgot to pace myself, to rest enough to exercise enough. To balance it out. I forgot to say NO. I have a right to choose and I had to take some of the power back.
 This morning I wrote...

....Working on doing all things with excellence onto Christ no matter how small it seems or if no one ever sees it! You don't need money, or fame or a reputation to please God and if you are so fortunate to have all those things, much is expected of you!!!!
All you need is what you have RIGHT NOW. Acceptance of Jesus as your savior, a willingness to be molded, a servant heart, humility and Go forth ambassadors!

Scripture that came to me today was:
 All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17
Why this scripture,? hmmm well I think it was "being equipped for every good work" that got me...again it all ties into what God has given you. We need to STOP comparing ourselves to others, I don't have this or that, I'm not skilled enough, I'm not talented enough or Im too shy. STOP IT right now, yes YOU. Do you not trust God?????  The God who knit YOU in you mother's womb? He gave YOU everything you need, all the talents all the faith, all the people and circumstances in your life that you need right now? Get off your BOOTAY and do what he has called you to do!!! Whether its to pray and intercede for others, to smile at a stranger, to cook food for a friend who's hungry, to anonymously put 5 dollars in someones pocket, to go to the dollars store and pick up a dollar card and write a scripture in it with some xoxo's in it and make someone's day, or to choose NOT to argue with a certain person today *ahem*

You don't have to climb mountains, God wants to use you with the little that you have to do amazingly great things! I have proved him in this time and time again. God has made my life so FULL of joy. Seriously between you and me, from where I was in my heart and mind so broken and torn, only God can do this! I'm not writing this to bring attention to me today. I'm writing this because I know there is someone who really needs to hear this! I can go anywhere and do anything because I have full confidence in God. I am his child. I am a child of the KING. Who says I cant when God says I can!! Seek him, pray, read your Bible, he will speak to you in the little mundane things in life and tell you where you need to be and how you are to serve with joy and gladness. 

For those who have "much" I urge you

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is there your heart will be also.
Im writing with a sense of urgency for the society we live in is so Self -Focusesd and we all including myself have been sucked into the mind trap. Me, me, me and everything is I, I, I, iphone, ipad even iCarly...its all about self-fulfilment and that ugly, nasty thing called self-importance....honestly there should be an i in front of Blackberry for real cause its just as bad. In the midst of playing with our little toys, if were gonna use them (we will) remember to balance it out and make good use of our playtime in everything lets have a kingdom focus! Download some Bible apps, msg a friend, write some uplifting updates and send encouragement...see you can still work around it.Those with financial wealth, and honestly if your living in  Canada, were all rich....just some more than others. Where is your treasure going to be found, what will you invest in?

So before I go on and on ....Ill leave it at  that....whether you have little or much what are you going to do with what you have right now?

Little is much when God is in it.... :)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Let the man pursue you?

Momma said "Let the man pursue you." Any thoughts?

Some ground rules if you read this but wish to remain anonymous inbox me your comments and Ill post them in quotes example Man said "....." Or Woman said "....."
This is not meant to bash so be mature and I'll post your comments. If you are comfortable posting go right ahead. I think its important to discuss this topic when it comes to Christian relationships. Thanks in advance!

Monday, March 21, 2011


My life isn't a bed of roses but you better believe the ones I stumble upon, after washing up the blood and picking out the thorns...I savour the aroma, place them in my hair, dance all by myself....lay the petals on my bed and embrace, embrace, embrace the moments!

Coffee Anyone?

It was the ending of March break and I was rushing around to do a million and one things. I had to go to the bank machine and even though my bank was just a few more steps up the road I took a detour at the local On The Run, gas station and Timmies spot! I waited in line, got my breakfast sandwich and some OJ. There was a young mom sitting with her child. The little boy insisted on shifting over to give me a seat but there was no need as the gentleman who was sitting in the seat near me was done and got up.

I relaxed and chatted with the young mom for a bit then it was time for her to go. In came this elderly lady, short but sturdy in stature, white haired with a cozy winter hat on, she peered at me with a twinkle in her eye. We made an instant connection, then she rested her shopping cart by the bench beside me. She made her claim, she was going to sit with me for coffee.
In a few moments she returned and started to climb up the bar stool. By instinct I placed my foot on the bottom bar of the bar stool almost expecting her to fall. I was in what I call "emergency mode"
In a calm maternal voice I heard " I can climb up, that's ok I was young once you know?" I smiled. "I used to ride horses", she said. She's a cool old lady I said to myself!

I smiled at her and she began to tell me a little about herself, just small talk. I told her I work with the elderly, she did a "hmmm" and told me she was a nurse when she was younger. She asked me if I was married. I said no, I told her men seem to be taking time these days they are not in a rush. I told her I had 4 children but never married. She politely said "Oh!" I was used to that response. She went on to say that "people do whatever they want these days" I regretfully agreed.

This is when her story began.... She told me her family was killed in the war by the Nazis! Doing my math in my head I realized I was in rare company. I may never get a chance to meet someone like this again. She told me that her brother had taught her photography and because of that the Nazis didn't kill her. They killed almost everyone she knew that day. She made photographs for the them. "Photography saved my life!" she told me. This was incredible! The more she spoke the more I felt a miracle happening.

She told me that there was a resistance and she fought along side with the men and lived in the forest for 3 years!!! I told her it must have been difficult as a women. She told me she wasn't a woman then, meaning she had to think and act like a man. While in Russia during the war they were in desperate need of medical help, she was trained to be a nurse and took care of the wounded soldiers. She told me "When the Russians tell you, you will work as a nurse or we will make you work as a nurse, what do you do?" I told her you didn't really have a choice did you? She laughed.

The pictures back then were developed in black and white and being an artist she painted them or edited them to make them in colour! Incredible, incredible I thought to myself. This woman is remarkable!
She told me that I can go to the library and read her book, A Partisan's Memoir (writing another passion of mine) Confirmation after confirmation that this was meant to happen and that I needed to hear her story, I thought she would disappear in a puff of smoke. I must have been dreaming!

I told her we have so much in common I am an artist, photographer and a caregiver and I decided a few days ago I am going to live my dream and do something I love for a living. She said do it!

I asked her for her name so I could find the book and she wrote it down on a piece of note paper I was carrying. I asked her if I could take her picture and she reached into her purse and showed me her pictures!!! I wasn't expecting that. She showed me a picture of her on a horse, long time ago and someone wearing many war medals! She told me that she also received war medals. She said that she is going to speak at a university in the near future. I whipped out my trusty Blackberry and she smiled when she realized I meant that I wanted to take our picture. I asked again and she said "sure go ahead!" Filled with excitement and a new zest for life I said goodbye and bounced over to the grocery store to do my shopping.

When I got home I did a little research she is indeed legit! Everything she said was true and again I was amazed. Her name is Fanny "Fay Schulman and she is 92 years old!
I am forever grateful for such a beautiful moment in my life and if I never meet another history maker again, I am indeed satisfied...So I guess its time for me to make a little history of my own. Thanks Fanny!!!

Here are some links about Faye Schulman

Monday, March 14, 2011

Christian Women Do Not Apologize For Wanting To Be Married

You have got it together, you are well balanced, your spiritual walk is good and better by the day. You are satisfied with life, you are loving, kind, a good friend and family member. You volunteer and donate to charities you are active in your community, your world. Something is missing you are not married. Now I'd be the first to tell you that I have a love hate association with the word marriage. My parents split when I was young and I wasn't exposed to a lot of men growing up. Of The men I was exposed to I had an either very good experience with them or a very bad one. Not having a man in the household I became accustomed to running my own show. The men who I let into my life I put them on a pedestal because I had no example I expected them to be some super-human mister wonderful and when it turned out they were only human things went *poof* I lived and I learned. My choices weren't always the best I admit it!!! Over time I started to figure out what I wanted and most of all what I didn't want out of a relationship. Being a single momma I had to rely on myself I had to be mommy and daddy to my children. It never felt quite right especially as they got older but I had no choice you do what you gotta do.

As my walk with God grew stronger my eyes have been opened to the importance of men in the lives of women and their roles in the life of their children. We have been deceived by the enemy with the notion of "I don't need a man!" Its so ugly and the sole mission was to destroy the family unit to destroy God's divine design. The light bulb went off a few years ago and you will never hear me say that phrase.

Today's men are so wounded and insecure because they don't feel wanted or needed. "The women can do it all without us they only want us for sex or our money or to make babies with. Then they toss us like yesterday's trash. They divorce us and take half, all and the kids" why bother!!! I'm honestly feeling the pain and angst of men of this age. They are so full of FEAR!!! They are afraid to talk to us to be our friends and let me not get started with coffee or a date!!! Never in my life have I seen so many women struggling to get even a hey a hi or a smile from a christian man. This is sad you cannot tell me that men don't have a desire to pair up. I don't believe it. We were made to pair up this is God's design from Genesis 1:27 the desire is there its always been.

Men are necessary to lead us closer to Christ. They help build to our security and keep us safe they are the voice of reason and direction. They help to correct and instruct our children and they are key in showing them how to respect authority. Their are living examples of God's love for the church!!! They were meant to be the true providers and their self worth is wrapped up in how they make a living for their families. Men you are so important! Do not let fear drive you away. You are to be cared for and loved and we know that you need it too! So ladies do not be ashamed that you want a husband, why would you? They are worth it. God made you that way its divine design. :)

A Prayer for Japan

...Lord be with the nation of Japan! Send your light and love to those in need of shelter, food and comfort...Let them see YOU through the arms of strangers and messengers of peace! Protect them from the evil one! Cover them with your truth! Be with them I pray, Amen.