Friday, August 28, 2015

Its ok to be YOU

I had to learn at an early age to love and accept myself.. I grew up in a time where being fat was seen as negative. Not just from inside the walls of my home but on the screen and from everyday people. I had to grasp at some self esteem or I wasn't going to grow up with very much confidence. Lucikly I found  my place in the world and I believe my years working at Cotton Ginny helped. They had a Plus size division and it was one of the few places where a girl like me could get cute comfy clothes.. the 50% off discount didn't hurt one bit.  Ive spent many years hanging out with BBW Ontario a group of BBW ladies and admirers who not only were great people to hang out with in general many have become longtime friends who I treasure. Some are no longer plus due to changes in their bodies, be it from exercise diet, health, and surgical procedures. The fact remains... the common tread in our journey had brought about a sisterhood.
One of these sisters is Stina, always apologetically herself.. adorned with her trademark star tats above her chest on either side... shes a goth.. which seemingly opposite of my Christian self... we have a kinship... and that is we aren't afraid to be who we are. We have been supportive in each others endeavors  though we haven't seen each other in years, we always been cool.

Stina created a company Everyday is Like Halloween a few years ago selling spooky, creepy and rockabilly type trinkets, accessories from her home. I told her she was on to something, she has a knack for sales and putting herself out there and her latest project Fatshion Peepshow. She decided to do an article 101 Body Positive Bikini Babes and I was happy to put a submission in. I'm way down at the bottom as I sent mine last minute to fill in some empty spots. Look for Cammy but before you do save the link take your time to read some posts its quite uplifting, empowering and filled with encouragement.  Its doing well and its helping a lot of ladies to realize its ok to wear a bikini at any size. Be bold, be brave and step out and enjoy life. Its too short to let what other people think of you control your life. I am so proud to be a part of it. It if helps one young insecure girl or a woman locked up in her house afraid to get out there.. then it was worth it.. Enjoy!
101 Body Positive Bikini Babes

Thursday, August 27, 2015

To your health

My health journey has been somewhat of a roller coaster. Ive been chubby since childhood and I have learned to embrace that. Being skinny is foreign to me, but Ive never stopped trying to be closer to my 'ideal weight'. That thought seems a bit scary. I do love my curves Id hate to lose that if I'm too small but It would be nice to wear 'normal' size clothes and to walk into any store and be able to shop there. Some people seem to be able to eat a cow and just burn it all off and there's those like me who gain wait by smelling food it seems.  So here I go again but this time... oh yes there is always a THIS time isin't there? I know there has to be a way to get to my goal. My goal is under 200 and toned.. quite doable I can even see it now.

I am suffering with chronic pain.. and its one thing that isin't taken very seriously by doctors, but its unmistakable when you are going through it. I ache all over on some days and even tossing and turning in bed  feels like torture. Enough is enough for me now I may not be able to get rid of the aches and pains fully but if I can at least get to my level of activity and lose some weight I have a fighting chance. I want to get out there and be fully productive again I want to do all I was meant to do, I want to live my purpose so I have more motivation. I don't want to be stuck in a wheelchair when I'm older I don't want to suffer from mobility issues. I dont want to be stuck with diabetes and debilitating arthritis. I just have to do this. Here's a bit of my journery. Ive made some progress this year and I am definitely not going to stop now

Remember this, its still around, Wii fit, not a bad way to start when it was all the rage. It got me moving interacting with the kids and having fun too!
 

When I had a good bit of weight loss back in 2013.. my biggest weight loss in one year. I was using IKEA mirrors to get some full length shots


Im not liking meat as much as before. Its been making me ill. I have been using many alternatives to red meat such as fish, peas, and veggies. :)


Vitamins have helped picked me up , its been a life saver for me.
 Unfortunately Ive had many ankle injuries.. this last one back in 2010... wiped me out pretty badly. I stopped doing my morning walks since then. I haven't had to mojo to start them up. I have had issues with limping and knee problems since. I am also very careful walking in the Winter in order to not jinx myself again. The walking really did help keep me toned especially my legs and arms. I have been thinking of investing in a treadmill to get me motivated again and walking year round.


This is a current pic August 2015. All glowing in my element. I LOVE Summer weather! I also love to swim , being by the water and beaches! I am energized during the Summer and its either motivation to be Summer ready for outfits or to get the drive to pick up the pace. This time around I won. as I have been losing weight with the help of a BeachBody program but more about that later ;) My goal is to get to where I havent been by Christmas time... its really time to turn things up!!! Ill report back after the lovely season is over. In the meantime.. To Your Health as they say! *cheers*

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Bye Bye Summer...for now

Its been a while, I've had the most amazing Summer and its really hard to say goodbye. I had so many wonderful experiences and most was within my city. I didn't go too far to get away. I spent a week in Coburg, my son began his ABA Autism therapy, I went to festivals and the beach. I took tonnes of pictures. So I'll share some with you enjoy!


Lake Ontario at Sunrise

Cabin in Coburg

Me sitting in the park as my son's group has a therapy session


My boys leaving ABA Therapy


My photography can be found on Artistbe.com just look for Cammydoll


My new puppy Teddy!


Thursday, September 29, 2011

Broken

Broken

This is something only you alone God can do

Only you can fix what is broken...

For I was so broken

millions of pieces

charred and tattered remains

scraping at the surface

barely existing

...on a thread

I called and you reached down and pulled me out of the pit

The ashen lair

Sharp metal prongs swelled up the walls

with no way out

I circled, the chambers crying and confused

every apparent exit was only a deeper pit

pulling me deeper into eternal despair

my ways my actions and thoughts led me there

my was no way out...


I broke down desperate for peace and freedom

any form of relief!



Then I remembered a story from old

of love so enduring and pure, never failing

shivering, I hungered for this love, for the loving arms of my saviour wrapped around me



I knew I had to find a way back

to you

So I searched for that familiar voice those familiar words

I cried out for help

and the walls started chipping, cracks began to form

dust flew all around me

until I was able to get my hand through

before me was a tiny opening, beyond it was a light that shone on gently glowing and warm



I called out for I knew from whence my help commeth and soon felt his arm

I knew it was my heavenly father, reaching out to me

I hesitated...

What was on the other side? new choices new decisions, a new life so much unknown

I knew it had to be better than the pit I was in

My father was waiting

Fear gripped me
 
He whispered gently...Come my child. I have plans for you plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future...I will bring you back from captivity (Jeremiah 29 11-14)
 
The shackles of my mind loosened, the chains of doubt and fear fell to the ground!!
In you alone I trust oh God, your love is without measure, you want the very best for me. You mean no harm.
I leaned on the walls and they crumbled.. On the other side was my saviour smiling with arms wide open.
Welcoming me home.

The Christian......Date!!!

Yep I did it...I dated a Christian guy.

......it was TERRIBLE....now before you say...I was right don't date Christian men/women. Let me tell you what I did wrong, so that hopefully you wont suffer the same fate as I did.

First of all my disclaimer. *If this post at all reminds you of anyone you know, its not them...well maybe... but I'm not naming names not now not ever so DON'T ASK!!! (oh they don't attend my church either)

I was praying hard one night feeling so defeated and about to give up on ever finding someone. I was crying and praying and begging God to make things happen but for me to also be patient enough to hold on and trust him. Now I don't have many days like this usually I'm cool, but this particular night I was all hormonal, a tad lonely, feeling rejected and tired of men who I like being totally clueless about me *whew*....well you know what I mean I'm sure you have been there right?

So what happen,s the next day, out of the blue some guy sends me a message, wanting to get to know me, all about me, wanting to talk to me on phone and text and  take me out....and BROADCAST MESSAGE he was a CHRISTIAN!!!!!

WHAT WHAT, what's this Answered Prayer....????

.....well my friends, after an awe inspiring miracle like that....all my good sense flew out the window!!!!

Not only did he ask me out, he asked me out again and again, we went here, there, to  movies hanging out. Ive waited years for this....yep 6 whole everlasting years. Did I mention 6 years??? Oh ya ok...lol

This must be from God because he's a Christian, he has to be the one because he's a Christian...I got so excited I almost stopped praying....mistake number one!

I put the poor dude on a pedestal and when he let me down, every trigger and issue Ive ever had came flooding in like a tsunami......

 I was in trouble....I had no clue what to do, how to react so Ms. Old Self crept back in. I had no idea how to shut her up, kick her out, or shake her off...it was so irritating. I thought I had it beat!!!!

Because I took my eyes off of GOD.
I lost my focus
I only saw, my needs, my happiness, my dreams and future in front of me.

Luckily it was over before it even began but there was unnecessary hurt going both ways. :(

That's the short end of it but some things I learned.

  • Just because he's a Christian doesn't mean he's right for you!! ( I know its obvious but when your in it you just don't think)
  • Because someone comes into your life it isn't automatically answered prayer the way you would expect it to be... Pray and test it out. Get even more clser to God at this time.
  • People come into your life for different reasons (to teach you something, to show you something, to show you what you do or do not need in your life, to remind you to rely on God at ALL times!
  • Being a Christian doesn't mean the person has the right personality or character for you!
  • Do not overlook the little things and give them benefit of the doubt. If something is looking wrong or sounding wrong...it is WRONG! BE WISE, people are still people our sinful nature will show up and show us who we are and who the other person is too. Keep your spiritual wits about you!!
  • GO SLOOOOOOOOOW
  • If they aren't showing you good character right off the bat its not going to change, don't walk RUN.
  • BE FRIENDS for as long as humanly possible.  I know that I want to marry my best friend, someday....
Ill probably have more to add to this later but its up and posted. I hope this will help you!
Love you all! xo

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Men and Women this message is for you WOW

This is a great website that deserves your support. There are some amazing Christian videos that are free to view. Take a few minutes (about 40 min) to watch this video, its incredible!
Man School Porn and Lust vs. the Pursuit of a Wife


http://vimeo.com/19212162

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Little is much when God is in it

Do you remember that song? I grew up in church, pretty much born and raised in it. Our worship services were the bomb! They lasted for what seemed for hours, but I was a kid then so who knows for sure lol? I can still remember the hymns we sang. Sometimes they just pop into my head.  Here's one we sang at church and it goes a little something like this.

Little is much when God is in it
Labour not for wealth or gain
There is a crown and you can win it
If you go in Jesus' name
Sounds a little anti-prosperity doesn't? I don't really think so when you look a little further. I think it was saying not to make an idol out of wealth, gain or success. Don't let it be your everything be kingdom minded! For the real treasure is in heaven and there are souls to be won for Christ. As children of God we are to strive for excellence! I have to confess I have been guilty of not putting my best foot forward in ALL areas of my life. What happened? I wore myself too thin , I forgot to pace myself, to rest enough to exercise enough. To balance it out. I forgot to say NO. I have a right to choose and I had to take some of the power back.
 This morning I wrote...

....Working on doing all things with excellence onto Christ no matter how small it seems or if no one ever sees it! You don't need money, or fame or a reputation to please God and if you are so fortunate to have all those things, much is expected of you!!!!
All you need is what you have RIGHT NOW. Acceptance of Jesus as your savior, a willingness to be molded, a servant heart, humility and love....now Go forth ambassadors!

Scripture that came to me today was:
 All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17
Why this scripture,? hmmm well I think it was "being equipped for every good work" that got me...again it all ties into what God has given you. We need to STOP comparing ourselves to others, I don't have this or that, I'm not skilled enough, I'm not talented enough or Im too shy. STOP IT right now, yes YOU. Do you not trust God?????  The God who knit YOU in you mother's womb? He gave YOU everything you need, all the talents all the faith, all the people and circumstances in your life that you need right now? Get off your BOOTAY and do what he has called you to do!!! Whether its to pray and intercede for others, to smile at a stranger, to cook food for a friend who's hungry, to anonymously put 5 dollars in someones pocket, to go to the dollars store and pick up a dollar card and write a scripture in it with some xoxo's in it and make someone's day, or to choose NOT to argue with a certain person today *ahem*

You don't have to climb mountains, God wants to use you with the little that you have to do amazingly great things! I have proved him in this time and time again. God has made my life so FULL of joy. Seriously between you and me, from where I was in my heart and mind so broken and torn, only God can do this! I'm not writing this to bring attention to me today. I'm writing this because I know there is someone who really needs to hear this! I can go anywhere and do anything because I have full confidence in God. I am his child. I am a child of the KING. Who says I cant when God says I can!! Seek him, pray, read your Bible, he will speak to you in the little mundane things in life and tell you where you need to be and how you are to serve with joy and gladness. 

For those who have "much" I urge you

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is there your heart will be also.
Im writing with a sense of urgency for the society we live in is so Self -Focusesd and we all including myself have been sucked into the mind trap. Me, me, me and everything is I, I, I, iphone, ipad even iCarly...its all about self-fulfilment and that ugly, nasty thing called self-importance....honestly there should be an i in front of Blackberry for real cause its just as bad. In the midst of playing with our little toys, if were gonna use them (we will) remember to balance it out and make good use of our playtime in everything lets have a kingdom focus! Download some Bible apps, msg a friend, write some uplifting updates and send encouragement...see you can still work around it.Those with financial wealth, and honestly if your living in  Canada, were all rich....just some more than others. Where is your treasure going to be found, what will you invest in?

So before I go on and on ....Ill leave it at  that....whether you have little or much what are you going to do with what you have right now?

Little is much when God is in it.... :)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Let the man pursue you?

Momma said "Let the man pursue you." Any thoughts?


Some ground rules if you read this but wish to remain anonymous inbox me your comments and Ill post them in quotes example Man said "....." Or Woman said "....."
This is not meant to bash so be mature and I'll post your comments. If you are comfortable posting go right ahead. I think its important to discuss this topic when it comes to Christian relationships. Thanks in advance!